i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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