Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
