so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
