Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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