soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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