I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Randomize
