when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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