I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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