Taylor Swift is so right about you.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We got so high we made milksteak
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
