She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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