Nicole vs. Life
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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