would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize