people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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