you guys were way drunker than both of me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
