Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
