The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You don't make any sense
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