Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
