I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
