shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
