I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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