Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
