her vagine was all disorganized.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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