I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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