Whod you bang
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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