we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
