I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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