38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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