you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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