There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
