Say something about gay babies.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
