Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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