Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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