I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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