"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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