Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
