so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
