so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
