my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
