No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
