I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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