C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude i'm inner monologue high
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize