I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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