dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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