He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
