i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
