Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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