Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
