The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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