You really coming over, don't trick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
