what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
