see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize