also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
