So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.