I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
