paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea