Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.