I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN