bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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