at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
