I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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